


Bloodstained Regret

by ravendas



Series: Crimson and Ebony [3]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 06:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12576124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravendas/pseuds/ravendas
Summary: It's easier to runReplacing this pain with something numbIt's so much easier to goThan face all this pain here all aloneSomething has been taken from deep inside of meA secret I've kept locked away no one can ever seeWounds so deep they never show, they never go awayLike moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've playedIf I could change, I would take back the pain.I would retrace every wrong move that I made.I would...If I could stand up and take the blame, I would.If I could take all the shame to the grave, I would.--"Easier to Run" by Linkin ParkThe Quinncident...(One-shot beta version to be incorporated in my main work in the future.)





	Bloodstained Regret

**Author's Note:**

> My rendition of the Quinncident. This is an offshoot of my main SWTOR Sith Warrior story, Scarlet and Nightshade. I opted to give it its own work because I'm jumping ahead in the storyline, so this version may or may not have to be edited once it gets integrated into that story to account for what I still have yet to write to fill in the gaps (there will be references in this work to things I haven't written in the main story yet....so bear with me). It's sort of a beta version, I suppose....but I felt the need to get it out here while I finally had all the pieces put together in my head of how it is going to play out. It's a lot more emotionally-charged that I normally write...and very conversation-heavy and light on description, but I guess that's what happens when you write a heart-wrenching scene while hormonal. ;-)  
> I had my own head-canon originally, but after talking to Neil Pollner, the writer of the Sith Warrior story and heard his views on this particular scene in the game, I decided to see if I could find a way to integrate it together and make it work with the changes I'd already made in the story. I hope you enjoy it...

“Baras is my true master. He had me lure you here to be killed.”

The words hit Hyperia in the gut like a ton of durasteel. She flailed out with the Force, seeking any sign that his words were the ruse, not the scenario itself…but she found nothing but honesty, and a hint of regret from the man she had thought herself closer to than any other.

She could barely remember what had been said after that, her senses were reeling from the betrayal. Only when the two war droids had emerged from the room behind Quinn, flanking him with all weapons trained upon her, did clarity reassert itself.

_All this time, he said that Baras required him to accompany me on every mission…it was leading up to this moment. He knows my every move, every tactic, and every weakness. I trusted him…especially after Alderaan…but was even that just a ploy?_

Any further thought was cut off by Quinn’s final words, “I am sorry that it has come to this, my Lord”, as he trained his own pistol upon her.

The minutes after that were a blur of red-tinged rage, sorrow, and pain…both emotional and physical. He had not lied when he had said that the droids were designed to combat her…their armor infused with cortosis immune to her saber blows, their turrets spraying flaming thermite that she could not deflect, only dodge….and the proximity of the twin droids pinning her between them made it difficult….yet, the fact that they were so closely-grouped worked, overall, to her advantage.

 _Quinn would know that grouped enemies were always the easiest for me to deal with. If he’d placed these at opposite ends of this room, I’d have no chance at all. Did he do this on purpose?_ Even more puzzling was that he’d stationed himself squarely between them, which was the most dangerous place he could be when facing her. It took little more than her usual force jump into their midst to throw him back against the wall where he lay stunned, allowing her to focus her attentions fully upon the two droids.

The battle seemed to stretch into eternity, but at last the droids both lay in smoking heaps of scrap upon the metal deck. Hyperia herself did not emerge unscathed, her armor charred and torn, a bruise swelling upon her face, and her left leg throbbing with a sharp pain that suggested it could be broken. Even so, she limped over to where Quinn was shakily attempting to regain his own footing. Rage and pain blurred her vision as she attempted to gather her strength.

“I….I don’t know what went wrong. I thought...” His words trailed off as his gaze fell upon her battered face, then dropped to the floor as he knelt before her in surrender. “I have betrayed you, my Lord….conspired with your most hated enemy. I know what deep regret I feel is meaningless. I do not expect your mercy.”

The gesture called to mind Balmorra and the day he had knelt to offer his services to her. _All orchestrated by Baras….just so he could get close to me, to soften me up for this moment._ Blinded by anger and sorrow, she used what strength she had left to fling him back against the wall, pinning him there with the Force like an insect. “You _used_ me. I respected you, trusted you…. _loved_ you, and you **_used me_**! So you were his puppet all along? Was it all a lie?! Alderaan….Nar Shaddaa….the things you said….the nights we spent…it was all just a game to you to lure me in closer so that Baras could laugh when you broke me?!”

The pulsing in her ears mingled with his choking gasps as she slowly tightened the Force grip around his throat. The rage would not let her release him enough to speak, so she thrust her senses into his mind to glean the answers she would have before he died. She expected to have to rip them out of him, but was taken by surprise when she was suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of memories and emotions pouring from him. She gasped and staggered back, her grip loosening slightly upon his throat, her mind reeling as she tried to process it all. But overriding it all was one emotion: acceptance….and one thought: “I am finally free.”

_He wants to die…wants me to kill him. He fulfilled his obligation to Baras….but failed. He wagered that either the droids would kill me, or they would fail and I would kill him. Everything he said…he said to anger me…to push me to the point where I would gladly end his life._

_“I didn’t want to choose between you, but he has forced my hand.”_ Sifting through the chaos of emotions, Hyperia realized that his feelings for her had been real, but he had hated himself for them…warred with himself against them. He didn’t _want_ to care for her. He knew that this moment would eventually come and his feelings for her tore at his sense of duty immensely. So he had fought to distance himself from them as much as possible by turning a cold shoulder to her.

_Taris…the feeling of being used….his jealousy inflamed in order for her to twist him into doing to what she wanted…no care for his emotions or how he had felt afterwards: like a toy to be used and discarded without thought._

_Draahg…and Baras’ words echoing in his ear as he could not tear his gaze away from the image on the monitor of her body entwined with the dark-haired apprentice’s, “They are Sith…and you are but a mere Imperial. She will always be drawn to the greater power and passion…it is our way.”_

Another memory thrust itself sharply to the forefront at her own thought of Draahg and it brought her to her knees in shock.

_Looking down upon her unconscious form pinned beneath the rubble from the cave-in Draahg had caused. Shaking hands aiming the pistol at her head. “When the time comes, you will know what to do”, Baras’ voice echoing in memories within memories. The conflicting emotions boiling just beneath the surface…to mercifully end her now, like this with her unknowing that it was his hand that killed her, or to look into those golden eyes one last time and beg her forgiveness for what he must do. But even as her eyes begin to flutter open, a paralysis takes over and two figures interpose themselves between him and her prone body._

_“The betrayer makes his move….too soon”, one of the men intones cryptically, his features hidden beneath a hood, though the faintly reddish skin and facial tendrils of a Sith pureblood could be glimpsed._

_The second, also a Sith pureblood, his features unconcealed, frowns deeply, fixing Quinn with a steady stare that seems to pierce straight through his soul, “It is not her time to die yet. You shall gain the freedom you seek. But not today.” And with that, all goes dark…resolving into another memory…_

_“Voloren….Broysc…both I have delivered into your hands. And yet you waver in repaying me for all I have done. I am giving you the tools to defeat her with ease…and you know she cares nothing for you beyond using you for your martial and….carnal….prowess.” Baras’ voice again echoes. “I chose you for your steadfast loyalty to the Empire and willingness to take whatever steps are required to preserve it….as well as your ability to focus on the job without such…distractions. Not someone who would balk at killing a single rebellious Sith. Did I choose wrongly, Captain?”_

_“No, my Lord….my service is to you and the Empire, always. I will do what must be done.”_

_“Fail me again and your death…as well as hers…will be a magnum opus of agony.”_

Fast-forward again….

_Focus….the last touches on the programming…must be perfect. Flashes of memories interfering…brush of skin, the way her lips curved upward into a smile, the feel of her hair against his fingers. No, can’t think of this now. It will end….one way or the other….she dies or I do. After long thought….one small adjustment to the program. One small chance for her….and for me, to find release from all of this. I’m sorry, my Lord, my….love…I would rather die at your hands than go on another day living with what I have done._

Wrenched, gasping from the torrent of sensations, memories, and emotions….her gaze meeting his as the last light fades from his eyes, his body crumpling to the deck as her grasp is released. A panic grips at her, her own thoughts scrabbling like rabid nexu in a cage, as she takes his face in her hands, his pale skin now a ghostly white.

“NO…..nonono! You don’t have my permission to die!” Her fingers shake as they desperately slide along his neck, seeking a pulse. Anger and desperation warred as she fumbled through the medikit he always carried, tears blurring her vision as she finds the stim she hopes will revive him. Stabbing it non-too-gently into his arm, she sits back on her heels, trying to ignore the shooting pain in her leg, using it to fortify her strength.

After a few seconds, a ragged gasp, followed by raw coughing is forced from him. She digs her nails into her palms, trying to keep from punching him in pure rage and relief, “Damn you selfish bastard! You thought you could do this then leave me all alone to deal with it?!”

As he shakily pushes himself upright, she snatches his pistol from the floor and presses it into his hands, “If you’re going to kill me, then have the courage to do it with your own hands! If serving Baras means that much to you and you really believe that what he is doing is better for the Empire, then just look me in the eyes and do it! I won’t stop you!” Suddenly the fever dream of Taris pierces her thoughts: the pain of the blaster bolt tearing through her skull, Quinn staring down at her with flat, dead eyes. _Was this a glimpse of my fate? Preparing me for this moment? Or what could have happened back on Quesh?_

“I do not want you dead, my Lord. I never have. If that was truly my desire, I had hundreds of opportunities to do so before now. But I have done worse than kill you, my Lord…I have betrayed you. And I honestly do not know why I still live…unless your plan is to punish me further. I cannot say that I do not deserve it.” Exhaling a heavy sigh, he handed the pistol back to her, “I know it is no excuse, but my wager was that what you would do to me for attempting this was preferable to what he would do to me if I refused. I still stand by that…even if you choose a long and torturous death for me.”

Hyperia sank her head into one hand, “I don’t understand. When you said that Baras is your true master, I sensed no deceit….you were being honest about that. Your loyalty has always been to him…I could feel that. But I can also sense your feelings towards me…and I just….I don’t understand how you could do this. How could you justify it? Especially after everything we have gone through together because of him and his machinations….after everything he did to you. Or was that a lie too? Did you tell me that he tortured you just to gain my sympathy? Saying that your loyalty was to me…sharing the reports you supposedly sent him? Was all of that part of the plan?” Her tone shifted from confused to angry as she fixed him with a baleful glare.

“No, it wasn’t a lie. I honestly wanted to be able to open up to you. But, he always knew…was always one step ahead…of both of us. I realized that opposing him was futile and that it was….safer…to remain loyal to him.”

“’Safer’ for you”, she spat out contemptuously.

“For both of us. I hoped that if we kept on track, obeyed him, and successfully completed his missions, that he would see that your usefulness to him outweighed the threat you might have posed. I did everything I could to try to convince him of your loyalty. And up until he had Draahg attempt to kill you, I had thought it was working.”

“You _knew_ what he had planned”, she snarled, recalling the flash of memory that she had seen. “You had your gun to my head while I was helpless!”

“Not until that moment. And I thought it a mercy to end it quickly, rather than have you awaken alone and trapped.” Noting the puzzled glance she gave him, he answered her unspoken question, “The intent was that I walk away….leave you to die. Baras told me….the night before…that if I did not want to have to make the choice to kill you, I needed to get away from you. I could have taken it….I almost did…”

“Your resignation. You begged me to reassign you ‘for the sake of me and the crew’ because you were ‘compromised’.” Her brows furrowed thoughtfully as the pieces started to fall into place.

“Yes, because either I walked away then and there, never to see you again, but to know that Baras had you killed…or I stayed and knew that it would be my hand that did the deed. I…respected you too much”, he paused, taking a deep breath, eyes closing, “…cared for you too much, to not leave you to the hands of Draahg.” He shuddered visibly, “What he had planned for you was…vile beyond words…”

Hyperia nodded, recalling the two men’s brief exchanges, both in the cave on Quesh and the Hoth space station. She had thought Quinn’s obvious loathing of Baras’ other apprentice was purely out of jealousy, but apparently it was much more than that. “Still, you tried to kill me.”

“’Tried’, my Lord….and failed. As I had planned. You know as well as I do that I have had plenty of time and opportunity to note all of your strengths and weaknesses. If I truly wanted to kill you with those droids, you _would_ be dead.” With that he fell into silence, obviously having said his peace for the time being.

After a long moment, she shook her head, “This is…a lot to take in. I can’t ignore the fact that you tried to kill me. And I don’t know if I can ever trust you again after this. If Baras wanted me broken…well, he succeeded in that, at least.”

With her last words, something inside Quinn just cracked. It was bad enough that he had betrayed her, tried to kill her….but to see this strong, capable woman who he had come to respect…and even eventually love...in such a dejected, hopeless state, it was almost too much to bear. “My Lor….Hyperia, there are no words to express my regret in this. It is no excuse, but I truly thought I was doing what was best for the Empire. Baras….”, he trailed off, shaking his head. “No, I won’t make any more excuses for my actions. I do not deserve your mercy or forgiveness in this. I will accept whatever punishment you deem fit. But before you go back to the ship, I need to tell you two things. This is not a bargain for my life, nor do I expect leniency in return….just that I have to tell you this at least. First, there is a reason Baras has been always one step ahead of everything you have done.” He held up a hand to silence her as she began to respond, “No, not just my reports. This was deeper than those…he was informed on…private matters of everyone, small things that I never bothered with…what transpired on the ship while I was not there.”

Hyperia frowned in confusion, “I had Vette go over the entire ship when we first acquired it from Baras for any sort of surveillance. There was something she missed?”

“Did she check the droid?”

Her expression shifted from shock to irritation to anger, “I am such an IDIOT! Why didn’t I think of that?” A wry, bitter chuckle was forced from her lips, “So you weren’t the first spy Baras placed on my ship, after all.” Her stomach lurched as she mentally recalled how Too-Vee was always there, watching, listening….”innocently” puttering around in every part of the ship. All the times he had brought her caf in the morning to her quarters…more than once, when Quinn was still there with her. She felt her gut twist again. All of their “private” conversations…recorded and transmitted to Baras.

She shook her head in confusion, “Baras could have had me killed so easily…at any time. Too-Vee poisons my caf or my food, kills me in my sleep, sabotages the ship.”

“That would have been too easy, too quick”, Quinn replied with a sigh, “He wanted you to suffer…to, as you said, break you first….to find out every one of your weaknesses, your secrets…”

“…So he could use them against me in the end. I _knew_ this was coming…I even knew that he would involve you somehow. I just…” shaking her head, her words trailed off into a shaky silence.

“I know….that makes what I’m going to say next even harder. It’s something I should have told you before now…but, we both knew what was coming and I didn’t think it prudent. I was waiting for the right time, but….I don’t think there ever was or will be ‘the right time’. So, I’ll say it now so at least you know…even if this is the end for me…I love you, Hyperia. I have for some time now. I think that we’ve both known it…but I’ve never come out and said it because I was never sure how you felt in return. After…everything, it just seemed foolish to hold onto the illusion that you might feel the same.”

Hyperia sank her head into her hands and for a long moment was silent, but her shoulders shook and a muffled sound emerged that Quinn could not discern whether it was laughter or sobbing…or both. He wasn’t sure which one worried him more.

Eventually, she lifted her gaze to him, her eyes red, face streaked with tears, but a smile tugging at her lips. _Both, then?_ “You were ‘never sure how I felt in return’? I guess…you have a point. I said…and did things…” A harsh bark of laughter tore itself free, “I don’t blame you for doubting. But now…damnit, Malavai….you’re alive because I…no matter what you did or said, I couldn’t kill the man I love. I knew Baras would use you against me…so I tried so hard not to show how I really felt. I thought that if I didn’t let myself love you, when the time came, it would hurt less. I had to turn my attentions elsewhere…for your sake…and my own sanity.”

Quinn stared in disbelief, unable to tear his gaze away from her battered, tear-streaked face, “I…my Lord, I…don’t understand….I don’t deserve your love. Not after this.”

Shaking her head once more, she released an almost-hysterical giggle, for between the pain of her injuries and the constant revelations, she was not sure if her sanity was still intact. “Malavai…you just tried to kill me…and failed. So I tried to kill you…and failed. Both because of the depths of what we feel for each other. I think that if we can survive this, we can survive anything your bloated master wants to throw our way from here on out.”

“He is no longer my master, this I swear to you. My dedication to you in all things will never waver again.” Swallowing, he drops his gaze, “Provided you will accept me into your service once more, of course.”

Dragging herself the remaining meters to close the distance between them, she places a hand beneath his chin to lift his gaze back to meet hers, “You have managed to stir every passion, elicit every emotion I have…like no one else in this galaxy ever could hope to. I would have you at my side until the stars burn out and our passion is the only thing left to light our way.”

His eyes widened in abject shock at her words…and the implication behind them, as he fought for his own words, but failed as she slid one hand to the nape of his neck and pulled him into an ardent kiss. He lost himself in the moment as their lips devoured each other hungrily, only breaking reluctantly at her sharp gasp of pain as he pulled her in closer.

“I’m sorry…what happened…?”, he asked worriedly as her features contorted in agony.

“My leg….I think it is broken”, she replied through gritted teeth.

The medic in him quickly snapped to the fore as he pulled out the medical scanner and ran it over her body. “It is…and your ankle is sprained…you also have a hairline fracture along your cheekbone…and there are second-degree burns in…” He trailed off, fixing her with a look of mixed worry and astonishment. “You have been suffering through this…the entire time?!”

She managed a weak smile, “I am Sith…pain sustains me. I have been through worse…as you’re well aware of.”

“I need to get you to the medbay immediately, before…”

“No…I need…to go back alone”, she chuckled, laying a hand along his cheek reassuringly as she noted his look of worried confusion, “I’m not going to abandon you here. I just…need to take care of our spy before you return. Let Baras think I killed you and left you here so that he does not try to hunt you down for your failure.”

“I understand, my Lord. Let me give you something for the pain, at least.” Even as he began pulling a hypo from the kit, she shook her head.

“No….if he is watching, I want him to see me broken…beaten. I will holo you when it is safe to return. I promise I will not leave you here.” Kissing him once more with a fierceness that actually made him believe her, she then rose with a wince and hissing whimper of pain.

It took every ounce of willpower he owned not to try to help her, the sight of her slowly hobbling towards the door, shoulders slumped in the same hopeless despair he had seen earlier, clenched at his chest with a physical pain all its own.

Hyperia did not fight the pain as she slowly made her way down the corridor, she embraced it and let it fuel the raw emotions writ upon her bruised face. She could feel the whisper of Baras’ presence as soon as she left the room. _Good, the fact that I couldn’t feel him in the room itself hopefully implies that he was watching through the droids and once they were destroyed, so was his view of what went on afterwards._

She had no problem choking out sobs of pure misery as she limped her way back to the ship, only pausing to smash any droids she found along the way in an apparent mindless rage. As each one was demolished, she felt his presence fade a little more. _So he was watching us through the droids…this plan may work after all._ She had initially wondered upon their arrival upon the ship why there were so many droids just loitering about in every hallway. _Probably to make certain that Quinn carried out his task…didn’t warn me…and probably just because Baras is a sick bastard who was getting his entertainment out of watching my humiliation._

It seemed an eternity until she finally arrived at the airlock to her ship. Cold sweat ran down her face and she was beginning to feel dizzy. _Just a few minutes longer…_ As the door whispered open, the first being to greet her…as always…was Too-Vee.

“Welcome back, Ma….”, his cheerful greeting was abruptly cut off as she reached out and used the Force to crush his metal cranium. The droid crumpled to the deck in a clatter, attracting the attention of Vette who had just entered the main hold.

“What the--?!” The twi’lek’s eyes widened as she took in Hyperia’s battered form. “What happened?! Where’s Quinn?” Vette rushed forward to support the Sith as she began to collapse and led her towards the medbay.

“I knew something was just wrong about that mission”, Pierce piped up as he took in the scene. “Don’t think I could get lucky enough for you to tell me that prat’s dead, could I?”

Hyperia slanted a malicious gaze towards the burly lieutenant, “You are lucky…I don’t have the strength to turn your head into a mangled mass like the droid’s right now.” Hissing with pain as Vette settled her onto one of the beds, she pulled out her comm and contacted Quinn.

“All clear. You may return. Don’t forget the transponder.”

“Of course, my Lord…not after everything we went through for it.” There was a faint hint of amusement in his voice that caused her lips to tug into a slight smile as she laid back on the bed and awaited his return, feigning unconsciousness as to fend off the questions of the others, for now.


End file.
